They Call Me Mister B

They call me Mister B(asketball), as I have been successfully predicting college basketball winners over this long past week. Until my do-it-yourself video for picking basketball winners is ready for mass consumption, I have decided to give you, my reader, a taste of the genius for this year’s Men’s NCAA Tournament. Next year, you will have to buy my tell-all video on precise hoop hijinks for fun and profit. Until then, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASKETBALL?! THE MADNESS KIND?! THE MARCH KIND?! Let the games begin.

EAST

Syracuse vs. UNC-Ashville: Even with the sexual abuse scandal, the Syracuse boys went 31-2 so they will certainly not be distracted by UNC-Ashville. Ashville is a pretty city, but ugly basketball. SYRACUSE

Kansas State vs. Southern Miss: Experience shows that any school whose name contains the word “state” does extremely well in the first round. KANSAS STATE

Vanderbilt vs. Harvard: Really, who cares? Vandy boys typically spend more money on their dates than the Harvard snobs, so they will carry this day. VANDERBILT

Wisconsin VS. Montana: I happen to know that the Montana team practices with large gourds swooshing through apple baskets because the 29 people who support basketball in the state are too cheap to buy them balls; that will be too much to overcome against the cheese-heads: WISCONSIN

SOUTH

Kentucky vs. WKU: Seriously, a state that has blue grass that produces beautiful horses, fast women and basketball legends, also produces a first round bragging rights battle. Priceless madness! However the Hilltoppers’ victory party from yesterday will be short-lived: KENTUCKY

Iowa State vs. Connecticut: My experience shows any school with “state” in the title, never does well against schools whose name starts with the letter “C”: CONNECTICUT

Wichita State vs. VCU: Wichita State contains three times more letter than VCU which spells disaster for VCU: WICHITA STATE

Indiana vs. New Mexico: I have been to, and like New Mexico; I have never been to Indiana and the only two things I know about Indiana is a barroom trivia fact that the state is one of only three whose Capitol city begins with the first same letter as the states’, and it is the home of Indiana Jones; So I have to choose what I know: NEW MEXICO

UNLV vs. Colorado: Sorry Colorado, the bookies say you have no chance…Vegas all the way today Baby: UNLV

Good luck to all and have fun. Till tomorrow……………………Mister B

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About Alan G Billingsley

My career has been varied, including time as a newspaper deliverer, lifeguard, bubble gum maker, door-to-door detergent promoter, telephone book proofreader, short order cook, private employment agency counselor and owner, office and credit manger, infantryman, pots and pans salesman, Chinese restaurant cook, Chinese restaurant owner, public employment counselor, budget analyst, tax analyst, grant administrator, radio announcer, radio and television show host, disk jockey, automobile valet, child advocate, and now retiree. I've seldom been bored.
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One Response to They Call Me Mister B

  1. Barbara Kiddle says:

    Wow! I agree with all your picks (except one) Oh Mister B the Great One of Basketball Madness Predictions. I am honored ro be so in synce with you.

    So for now, just a few clarifications of the picks. I have Indiana over New Mexico, precisely because of Indiana Jones and because I picked the other New Mexico to beat Long Beach, and you know it is rare to have two New Mexico’s in the final 32.

    Also, the only reason Vandy boys spend more on their dates is because they have ro put gas in their pick up trucks and Harvard boys can just walk to the corner for all dating acoutrements. Pumping gas creates stronger wrists, and thus more three point shots. Vandy all the way!

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