Come Fly With Me

When I fly, I like the new process on most airlines to pay a nominal fee for roomier seats and being closer to the front of the plane. I don’t like to feel confined in a small space in a metal tube moving at 400+ MPH. Before this new option,  you needed to be an airline’s preferred customer to be seated in an exit row, or in the front three isles. I never was any airline carrier’s preferred customer. On the contrary, if US Air sees my name on the flight list, the computers are programmed to give me the last row, middle seat.  Paranoid? Hardly. Years ago I gave an agent by the name of Kyle a very difficult time on the phone because I had a legitimate complaint concerning a then upcoming flight and the man refused to understand or care about my logical and beautifully described problem. When I knew my case was falling on deaf ears, I threatened  Kyle of a week of bad publicity for both him and US AIR unless he immediately changed his ways and agreed with me. At the time, I was a morning-drive radio talk show host in the Florida Panhandle. Kyle wasn’t impressed. Ever since, Kyle, probably promoted, knows when I am flying on his airline. Delusional? I don’t think so. The last time  I flew US Air,  during a portion of the trip that was very bumpy, a  steward came to me and told me even though the “seat belt light” was on I should feel free to move about the cabin, which in my case, meant moving only forward. Kyle is alive and well!

I flew between Connecticut and Florida today, and at the airport I noticed a little girl (pictured below and who I nicknamed “Cutie”),  guessing three years old, in her stroller, using a cell phone. I watched Cutie off and on for about twenty minutes; all the while she was using the phone and swiping a lot. At one point, another three old old with a pacifier (who I named “Baby Girl”) toddled over to Cutie, making sounds  that I’m guessing asked  Cutie if she wanted to play with a new friend, or at least if she wanted to have a taste of a delicious pacifier. Cutie reluctantly looked up, noticed Baby Girl, and immediately returned to whatever the task-at-hand was. Baby Girl drooled a little, and made a beeline towards the boarding gate, and almost made it before Mom caught up. Cutie eventually had to give up the phone, as our flight was eventually ready, and I never did see what Cutie was doing that kept her attention for so long. Oh God, I hope she wasn’t blogging! What if she was? What if Cutie has more followers and the whole time was answering fan comments? What if she is related somehow to Kyle? I hate three year olds.



About Alan G Billingsley

My career has been varied, including time as a newspaper deliverer, lifeguard, bubble gum maker, door-to-door detergent promoter, telephone book proofreader, short order cook, private employment agency counselor and owner, office and credit manger, infantryman, pots and pans salesman, Chinese restaurant cook, Chinese restaurant owner, public employment counselor, budget analyst, tax analyst, grant administrator, radio announcer, radio and television show host, disk jockey, automobile valet, child advocate, and now retiree. I've seldom been bored.
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2 Responses to Come Fly With Me

  1. May Lavinia says:

    Yes….I have raised many children. One would think that endeared me to same. NO. One would be WRONG when I have set alarm to 5:00 AM to snare – with only a few extra scheckels – first class seats for the six hour journey homeward. Perfectly lovely infant (with probably perfectly lovely parental unit) ACROSS the aisle could not be comforted…could not, could not…..try as ALL could, including the most wonderful, old school flight attendant, a 38 yr international flight veteran who called himself (at least he did at the initial boarding of said tiny person) the “Baby Whisperer”.
    No, no, no. First Class reserved for those of us who flew our young’uns coach eons ago out of $$ necessity or no visiting Granma “over the river and thru the woods, la la la la la la”.
    Considering our destination I am thinkin’ these were Dot Commers.
    Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, T’was an uneventful trip home as visions of T-Day fun(!) companions and delightful food/spirits danced in my head and my mate composed his speech for next event in….Poland on Tuesday. Uh oh. Another flight but this time I must remember the Bose head phones……….

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