Once Upon a Time In Africa

[Author’s Note: I originally wrote this blog years ago after combining previous FaceBook posts from South Africa in 2008. For some long forgotten reason, I never published it and only re-discovered it earlier today. For my own anal-personality peace-of-mind, I am doing so now, in 2022]

1/28/08
2nd Day, 2nd Gin and Tonic, 2nd Glass of Wine

Trust me when I tell you that flying business elite is better than flying coach. Seven hours from Atlanta to Senegal (didn’t even know about stopping in Senegal-sp?). Stayed on plane for an hour while they vacuumed and security looked through our carry-on and lifted the seats. We weren’t supposed to stand in the aisle, so imagine having the middle seat in coach…awful. Then eight hour flight to Johannesburg; Peg and I took sleeping pills during second leg and slept five and six hours respectively. Checked into our hotel and immediately went to dinner at restaurant recommended by bellman. Went to Mandela Square (where he gave a famous freedom speech) and went to an authentic African restaurant where we tried various foods we had never heard of, and some favorites like Nann bread and lamb curry. This morning waiting for a flight to Kruger National Park (five million acres of preserve) some planes were being delayed because of a lack of fuel (are we having fun now). Fortunately our plane was gassed and off we went in a twelve seater for 90 minutes to land on a gravel runway and a land rover to our first accommodations, deep into the preserve where there are only six huts. After checking in we had twenty minutes or so before two guides took us into the bush…saw giraffes, lions, hippos, impalas, elephants (one pre-historically big) and on and on. Peg is in her glory. Stopped for gin and tonics and sunset overlooking a vast expanse of African plains…magical. Waiting for dinner and an early wake-up call at 5:30 AM tomorrow for another trek in the bush. So much to tell and so little time…as fate would have it, we are the only two guests at the number one rated safari lodge…needless to say we are getting above excellent service. They have arranged for us to sleep under the stars so we can hear sounds from animals that would like to devour us if they had the chance…more as time permits unless we are consumed……….@

1/29/08
Pause, Experience , Remember

The email title is written on a note to us from the manager, and it is very telling. After not leaving the Land Rover at all yesterday, this morning at 6 AM we walked into the bush where a python had been spotted. He was about six feet long and moved like a python should from the open into some medium sized brush. Our guide, Sheppard, showed us some animal tracks in the red soil and showed us some tracking tips to discover how fresh the tracks were. He actually uses this skill to venture off the trail in search of lions, or giraffes, etc. Then he teaches us to smell the air so we can tell we are getting close to a pride or herd. We spot fresh broken tree limbs on the road which is evidence that an elephant recently passed as sure enough , around a few turns we spot two elephants walking together while a third lone elephant is on the other side of a never-ending fence. She wants to join them but can’t figure out how. She will have a very long walk indeed because she is walking in Mozambique and her would-be friends are in South Africa. Very cool to be at the border even though the Mozambique side is not a nature preserve. We were in and out of the vehicle all morning exploring and it was good to walk the land. During a rest stop were treated to Mimosas and coffee and fruit and assorted cookies. Safaris are rugged…

This morning’s excursion will be the last one where we are the only guests with the guides. Today all six units will be filled. It was a treat to have the entire place to ourselves, considering this is the number one rated safari camp in South Africa. But I was especially glad there was nobody else here last night because of the embarrassing situation we found ourselves in…as I mentioned yesterday, we had the options to sleep on a bed outside on the deck under mosquito netting. The night was clear and the moon bright, so we went for it. Peg was ready for sleep and I was still in my regular clothing when we walked out to the deck to look at the bed. I closed the sliding glass door to keep creepy crawly whatever’s OUTSIDE, and when I tried to open the sliding door to come back inside, it was locked. Remember the visual of George Bush leaving a reception in, I think, China and the door was locked? Remember the expression on his face? I had the same exact expression! A lift up/push down security pin had slipped down into its slot and prevented the door from sliding. The staff had left us a air horn to use in case of an emergency, and I was forced to use it. Unbelievably loud and I told Peg that it won’t be hard to figure out who is using the horn since we are the only two guests at the moment Within minutes after waking all day creatures within a ten mile radius, an employee was there to open the door. The morning manager asked us at breakfast why we didn’t use the cell phone that was in a bedside silver canister that also contained a flashlight and insect repellent, and Peg said “Yes Alan why didn’t we?” Seems she never looked into the canister and took my word for what was inside…I never saw it………..but hey we’re here for adventure; so what if a teeny tiny almost invisible cell phone was hidden at the bottom………..I bet guests are locked out all the time.

I’m off now for a long hot soak and a nap before the afternoon bush excursion. I feel much smarter today thank you, except for the fact I keep forgetting my pictures to upload and send a few with emails………now let’s see, where did I put my room key??? @

1/30/08
Let’s Just Take A Walk

NOT! I don’t think I mentioned previously that even in camp, we need an escort from our unit to the main building for meals, meet-up, etc., both in the early morning and late afternoon and evening. The only time we can walk by ourselves is mid-day when the man-eating animals are taking a siesta. Yesterday when we were taking a nap, a group of baboons went through camp…they can walk anywhere they want at anytime…it’s OK. Our camp is right beside the Sweni River and this morning a Hippo was cooling off just in front of where we were sitting having coffee before heading out at six AM. Before breakfast we saw…kudu, wildebeests, zebras, giraffes, lions, impalas, cape buffalos, elephants, rhinos, hippos, baboons, giant snails, a baby crocodile, an eagle, vultures, a mongoose, a twenty foot python (the guide thought it was the parent of the smaller one we saw yesterday), waiting for us to leave so it could swallow a small impala it had just knocked off, a golden hornbill (bird) and a large assortment of other birds and insects.

I could tell you a story about last night at the end of dinner when somehow I managed to hook my two safari hiking boots together in such a way I could not stand up and our waiter had to go under the table to unhook them all the while Peg was trying not to be seen with me, but I’ll save that for when I have more time….more pictures and African adventures later as we leave Sweni tomorrow for a second camp (Hamilton’s) about a 2 1/2 hour drive from here ………..@

P.S. I tried to send four pictures but it was too large of an attachment so the computer informed me, so I next tried sending three, and that was too large. Same for two and one…I’ll wait until the next camp to try again with photos.

2/5/08
I Had a Home in Africa

… and until yesterday it was a tent on the Nwatswitswonto River, where the black mamba snake also makes his home in Africa…his poisonous venom splashed off my boot into the corner of my right eye when I started to hallucinate about being more attractive than George Clooney………so you can well understand the lack of communication. OK, so if you are skeptical, our second camp was not accessible to the internet. When we left Singita Sweni Camp and drove 90 minutes south to Hamilton’s Tented Camp (both of which are in the Krugar National Park, largest in South Africa) there was no internet, no phones, radios, or TV, which means Peg and I had the opportunity to take more time talking about each experience of the day, and read books, and communed with the exotic environment that surrounded us. This, my family and friends, is why the silence in recent days. We did actually have a Black Mamba cross the road in front of us, and I’m not kidding when I write that our tracker was afraid of this snake. He was also very cautious and nervous when a Mozambique Spitting Cobra appeared suddenly on the side of the road…look down for snakes…look straight ahead for elephants and zebras…look up for baboons and leopards.

Did I have any of you for at least two seconds? Probably not, as you are the best and the brightest.

Hamilton’s is on the Nwatswitswonto River and it was built to replicate the camps in the late 1880’s…think Out Of Africa style architecture, furnishings and clothing. The Krugar Park has 147 different types of mammals, 114 types of reptiles, 34 types of amphibians and 507 different birds. We barely began to scratch the surface. Our daily routine was generally up at 5:30 AM and off on safari until 9:30-10 AM. Then breakfast and free time for swims, massage, reading or sleeping until 4:30 PM when teas and sweets were served. At 5, we were off again on safari until 7:30-8 PM when upon return and freshening up, dinner and conversation till 10, when we were escorted to our tent (each tent has a hardwood floor and a frame construction so it doesn’t move, but the canvas top allows us to hear night sounds of various types till we drift off…sometimes I imagined a thousand eyes just staring at us). The night stars were brilliant without earthly competition as we gazed on the Southern Cross, Milky Way, and Orion. Spectacular.

At the first camp we enjoyed the company of a young newly-wed couple from NYC, and another couple our age originally from NYC, but now living in Florida. At the second camp we dined and went on safari with two couples, one from Lima, Peru and one from Toronto, Canada. The primary languages in S. Africa are English and Afrikaans, a combination of English, Dutch, and German, consequently is it very easy for almost anyone not to laugh at my jokes. One of the young men in charge of seeing to our needs took quite a bit of delight in telling us a nightly African folk story which usually had a humorous ending. His smile lit up the room with the proper appreciation we showed…little did he know I was silently thinking I wanted to do the stand-up while he sat there to eat.

Speaking of eating, I have to close to get ready to dine in a beautiful pan-Asian restaurant in Cape Town called Haiku. We arrived late last night after a flight delay out of Johannesburg. I have a wireless laptop in the room so expect more when time permits. Also eventual pictures if we ever slow down… @

2/6/08
Capetown Capers

I want to open and run a Guardian Ad Litem – WEST Office (really, really west)! It is incredibly beautiful. Arrived Monday night late due to delay in JO-berg and just went to the hotel. Yesterday we took a half-day city tour and then had lunch at Bukhara! Wonderful! Had Indian Nan, dal makhani (lentils), spinach palak, eggplant bhartha, potatoes aloo jeera, chicken tikka, and lamb vindoulu that was five star hot! I was still not hungry last night when we went to her sister restaurant, HAIKU, trendy pan-Asian, so just some dumplings, soup and a great South African chard.

Today had a full day tour to the Cape point, lunch at a fish place overlooking the Indian Ocean, place where jackass penguins hang and swim, but were too tired to visit K-stock botanical gardens. Peg’s napping while I type back at hotel. We have a beautiful view of downtown Cape Town, with Tabletop in plain view just to our right.

Going to a restaurant named GINGA tonight, 5 Flies tomorrow night, and BAIA on our last night. Have to get to Willoby’s still and to Sea Pit for a drink…but we will try. Tomorrow is a full day tour to two wine regions. Our personal guide looks like the rugby playing twin bother of Derek Jeter and his name is ……….Ishmael….I kid you not.

Going from the bush to an international city is quite dramatic on our senses…instead of the stars to twinkle for us…it’s the city lights off in the near distance. It is very, very windy this time of year, which has prevented us so far from taking the cable car to the top of Tabletop Mountain…hard to imagine that the view could be even more spectacular than it already is!

Final thought…S.A. has a major electricity problem and they are re-doing their infrastructure…this causes power outages which causes a lack of Internet capability…so this is still a hit and miss operation. Regards from the Deep South! @

2/6/08 I’m Not Lion

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Ok, this is from Peg, not Alan, but you probably would figure that out soon. I just wanted to tell you all about one of our more memorable nights in the bush.

We left for the evening drive around 4:30 with the honeymooners and the couple from Florida. Sheppard, the man with the rifle, was driving and Johnson was tracking. (The man from Florida was bitching as usual but he soon shut up.) Johnson spotted lion tracks and we went off road and found a pride of lions. They were lying around under bushes in the shade, which is what lions do most of the time. Johnson asked us how many we saw. We said, “7, no 9, wait there are 12, oh my god, there are more over there.” There were 19 young, healthy looking male and female lions. We watched a few and then we would move the land rover to watch others. I was afraid we would run over a lion since we drive right over the bushes and small trees. But Sheppard and Johnson have amazing eyesight. The lions aren’t really easy to see until you are on top of them. We watched them for about an hour and then the sun was beginning to set. Sheppard asked if we wanted to leave and have our usual ‘sundowners’ (gin & tonics) but we all voted to stay with the lions.

The sun continued to set and then the lions started to get up and stretch. They then began to move out, gradually more and more getting up, slowly heading in one direction. Sheppard asked if we wanted to follow. We all said yes. So he began to drive slowly, following the lions. We had to use the spot light and the low headlights (fog lights maybe?) since the sun had now set. There was another Land Rover who joined us and we would each follow, circling around and stopping at times to let other lions pass us. They were in front of us, behind us and next to us. The lions would hover just outside the glow of the lights, stop, stare at us and then move past. One walked close enough to my side of the land rover that I could have touched its back had I just let my arm drop to the side of the vehicle. That arm wasn’t actually near the side of the vehicle since I had squeezed closer to Alan when it became clear this lion wasn’t going to walk outside the light. But I could have touched it if I had had a death wish.

The lions are truly the King of the jungle. They don’t give ground to anyone…they stare at you with their yellow eyes and you freeze. The trackers and guides show them great respect. When they spot tracks for lions, they move inside the land rover; for all other animals they will have one person in the small front chair where they can spot the tracks before the wheels destroy to marks.

The lions were like a gang of young thugs, flexing their muscles and threatening everyone in their path as they slowly walked through the bush. They were on the hunt to cause violence to some lesser creatures. That is when the couple from Florida said they had to go back to camp to use the bathroom. The young couple also needed to but were willing to move to safe ground and pee in the bush. Alan and I were fine, or to be honest, all the fluids in our systems had seized up and we couldn’t have spit much less pee. So our tracking of the lions on hunt ended with a whimper but it was quite a rush for a couple of hours.

More stories to come…

2/6/08
Safari Snaps

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Safari Sheena multitasks with a sundowner gin & tonic while snapping 9 gigabytes worth of pictures so far.

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Meanwhile sideways safari guy keeps a vigilant watch for various varmints.

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Hippo howling at my awesome joke about two baboons that walk into a bar…

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Majestic Male Kudu’s thinking “what the dickens was that baboon joke all about???” Bush Kudu’s are hard to entertain.

Safari Dudess Multi-tasking a Sundowner While Snapping Elusive Big Game

2/7/08
Go Tell It on the Mountain

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Table Mountain is the key and certainly the largest landmark of Cape Town…as mentioned in an earlier communiqué the wind has kept us so far from taking a cable car to the top. But you can see the mountain almost everywhere you are in the city and it is truly magnificent. The first picture is of the mountain which was taken this morning from nearby Signal Hill. The second picture which shows a portion of the mountain was taken from the balcony of our hotel room yesterday morning. The third shows what happened yesterday afternoon when the Table got covered with a table cloth (clouds…they literally flow over the mountain until it’s covered. Almost looks like a waterfall, doesn’t it?)

Yesterday our driver took us to the southern tip of Africa to see the Cape of Good Hope where the Atlantic and Indian Oceans converge. It takes two of the strongest light houses in the world to allow ships to figure out where they are in relation to the tip. The entire area is quite an awesome sight.

Also witnessed Jackass Penguins at their favorite nesting place called Boulder Beach …I knew immediately they were of the Jackass variety when I saw of number of them wearing “Mike Huckabee” buttons………….bahdumebah!! Did I ever tell you about the time I saw two baboons walk into a Boulder Beach bar??

Today it was off to the wine country where we visited four wineries (some of them dating back to 1688) to taste a variety of sparkling, white and red vintages, including a blend called Pinotage which is only made in South Africa. Additionally we had lunch at an old French farm house overlooking the Franshoek region…postcard beautiful.

The last picture is of Peg and our escort Ishmael (really Derek Jeter enjoying the off-season) at the first stop this morning where we smelled, sipped and swallowed five different types of bubbly! Cheers……………@

2/7/08
Miscellaneous Pictures

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Winelands – Franachhoek Region

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Jackass Penguins – Their calls sound like the jackass animal

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Boulder Beach – Where the penguins live

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At the Cape

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Cape Point

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Hout Bay – Home to many sailboats and seals. Ironically most of the locals are scared of seals, hence they have…

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🙂

2/9/08
Zipping Along in Zambia

Yesterday was our last full day in Cape Town…spent the morning relaxing before an exhaustive afternoon of SHOPPING and I mean shopping! In addition to souvenirs, Peg had the inspiration that she is going to re-do a guest bathroom in…………….wait for it……………chic African. So she bought a number of items that will go into the bath after we paint the room to color coordinate with all the accessories. I’ve never seen her so happy while shopping…Peg was actually humming.

Dinner last night was on the waterfront at a very well known and respected seafood restaurant. I didn’t like the table they sat us at, and after mentioning it, was told the only table available would be one outside on a deck where a couple did not like their table because it was too windy (the same conditions that persisted for five days keeping us away from the top of Table Mountain). We went out and although all sides were glassed in, about every three minutes a gust of wind would blow that gave the impression we would all be swept off the deck into the harbor. But we wanted to be outside so we exchanged tables and everyone was happy. Twenty minutes later the harbor police pulled us from the water and we went right back up and tried again. Nah, that didn’t happen…actually it turned out very nice because halfway through a 2007 Hamilton Russell Chardonnay, the wind died down to about forty knots and it was quite pleasurable with a view of the harbor and downtown.

Before leaving for dinner, out boutique hotel rang the room and asked if we would like to have champagne and oysters before leaving, compliments of the hotel, so we took advantage of that and had the opportunity to meet and chat with the other guests. Very nice indeed.

Off this morning at 6:30 am to the airport to fly to Johannesburg, and then on to Zambia. In order to enter the country of Zambia, you have to have a visa…you get a visa by paying US Dollars at the point of entry. We were told the price had just recently dropped to $60/person. We had $200 cash on us, so we concluded that we would not need to get more US dollars before leaving Cape Town…so picture the only two American tourists at Zambia Customs when they tell us it is $135/per person. “No” is the answer to the question of their having an ATM machine at the airport. You have to drive into the town of Livingston to get an ATM and withdraw Zambian money to then take to a Zambian bank to exchange their money into US dollars. “No” is the answer to the question of whether a bank is open to exchange the currency, because today is Saturday and banks close early. I try to bargain with Zambian custom official to just hold my wife until tomorrow when I could come back with the money, but both the officials and my wife vetoed that suggestion. Finally another traveler overheard the conversation and noticed I’m sure the ever-increasing look of desperation in our eyes and said he would be happy to front the $70 dollars needed and we could repay him at the hotel. Turned out he is the chairman of a London owned mining company which has a nickel and plutonium mine her in Zambia and he travels frequently to check on the operation. We exchanged cards (I bet he Goggles “Guardian ad Litem”) and a plan was devised so we can repay him tomorrow for his kindness towards strangers. So we made it to the Royal Livingstone Hotel on the Zambezi River, about 150-200 yards upriver from Victoria Falls. We can see the mist it generates from just outside our room. We were informed that during the months of April through June, the mist can be seen as far away as 70 kilometers (If anyone knows how far that is, let me know please). This is not as exciting as the bush, but it will have to do for the next few days. Peg is currently at the Spa trying to forget about the near miss of sleeping at the simple airport overnight while I hunted for the elusive dollar bills…ahhhhh travel…………………..@

2/9/08
Kansas – Not

We have arrived in Zambia. We had a guide to get us from the airport to the Hotel and he insisted on giving us the historical highlights of Livingstone, which I think is the capitol of Zambia. The highlights included buildings built in 1951 and 1913. They are your basic run down buildings in an incredibly poor area. But it seems to be a wonderful country with kind and considerate people, who have a poor policy re visas and not much to see in the way of city life . The Royal Livingstone is quite the opposite, beautiful, serene and with all the creature comforts. I had both a manicure and a pedicure in the few hours before dinner. Alan is planning to have a massage on the river bank, in the open air tomorrow. He always goes for being naked in the jungle.

We had cocktails on the bank of the Zambezi River, watching the mist rise from the falls and the sun set to the west. It was spectacular. Don’t you just love the exotic sound of the name Zambezi? The river runs very fast just before it falls over the edge; it made me realize what danger Tarzan was in as he wrestled with the crocodiles and bad white men. Thank goodness for the tree vines. The monkeys (not Cheetah) were a nuisance stealing food right from people’s hands. The hotel has a man with a slingshot who chases them away. Not a job for people in the states but maybe a good one here.

One of the monkeys had a tiny baby which stole the lemon out of Alan’s cocktail; Alan tried to get a picture of the monkey family but the monkey was too quick as Alan sought the perfect setting on his camera. I will try to get him to send you monkey pictures in the future…I bet you can’t wait.

The Hotel also had a flautist playing old standards as we watched the sun set and I drank my Kir Royals; such a riot of sights and sounds. You certainly know you aren’t in Kansas anymore, although we did meet a boring couple from Michigan which while not quite from Kansas, we managed to escape, not by clicking our heels, but by clicking our tongues . That is what the Xhosa do when they speak; they click on certain syllables, and disappear. Not really but they do click.

Alan thought the falls were somehow associated with Victoria Secret but I explained that they were named for the former Queen of England and that this Livingstone is the same one Stanley presumed was around. Alan must have slept through that class, or was just daydreaming of being naked in the jungle one day. More to come…

2/11/08
Almost Adios to Africa

As the hours remaining in Africa dwindle, our thoughts and conversations are filled with images witnessed over the past fifteen days. I asked Peg if she could stay for another week, what would she choose, and without missing a beat she said she would continue on to Tanzania and go on safari to witness giant herd migrations across the Serengeti. I seconded the motion and gladly offered to be the bag carrier. So someday we would like to return to this continent for more adventures. Until then, we are content to return home to our family and friends and probably within a very short period of time, whenever we go into the extra bathroom and see African artifacts, our memories will surely return to this time and place. @

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Peg’s Favorite Animal In The Bush

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Table’s Top Will Have To Wait

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One of the Seven Natural Wonders

2/14/08
Happy Hippos

On the very first safari in Krugar National Park on January 28th, Peg captured two hippos kissing. Although South Africa’s hippos celebrate Valentine’s Day on September 26, I thought it appropriate to share today.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

2/19/08
After Africa

This morning before assuming my normal work activity, I need to take my last anti-malaria pill…the fifty-million acre Krugar Park we visited first, is a malaria area and we needed to take precautions…yesterday before leaving for Tallahassee, Peg thought she saw rhinos in the water behind our home…to say we still have Africa on the mind is an understatement. I realized that most of my previous emails didn’t really have too many pictures, and that most of you will not have the opportunity to visit and peruse the five thousand or so pictures we have (my latest count is Peg took six hundred pictures of lions). Thank goodness for digital! We narrowed down a slide presentation to currently four hundred and ninety-four pictures and bought much South African wine to help persuade invitees to remain seated and keep watching.
Below are a few more of my favorites to share before ending this Africa accounting. If an opportunity ever arises for you to visit Africa, we heartily recommend you go…we expect it’s soil, people, history, food, visual wonders, and especially its animals will always remain with us……………………………@

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2/21/08
OK, So Just a Few More

We appreciated all your enthusuastic comments about the emails…it was fun doing them even though at times it was frustrating trying to get pictures attached or just to have internet at all. When time permits we are going through the thousands of pictures to pick a manageable amount to print for an alblum and if when doing so, any good story comes to mind, I’ll share it via email. In the meantime, here are a few more ……………xoxo @

Bwana & Mrs. Bwana enjoying our first “Sundowners” in the bush.
It’s A Very Long Swim From Here To Anywhere

Another “sundowner” stop where I learned for the first time how to use the timer on my camera. Pictured left to right are a couple from Peru, our guide “Elvis”, the lovely and talented couple from Florida, and a couple from England standing in front of a tree that is over 2800 years old.

(p.s. Peg never stopped smiling for sixteen days…she smiled in her sleep…she smiled at 5 a.m….she smiled when she thought a lion might have her for a snack…)